Kazekage No Baka
by Nicknames.Are.Troublesome
Summary: Annipe is on a mission. What mission? To get Gaara to have some fun, of course! GaaraxOC I do not own Naruto. If I did, oh the things I would do...


The young Kazekage stared out the window, his seafoam eyes shadowed considerably as he stared out the frosted window.

It was raining.

In Sunagakure.

Little children were running and playing in the rare rain, while adults gathered rain water in basins to be purified later and stored for the dry seasons.

Gaara sighed and rubbed his arms. Being without Shukaku was a blessing, sure, but at least the Tanuuki demon kept him _warm_.

With frostbitten hands he began jotting down ideas for the next meeting with the elders. He despised those up-tight, anti-problematic, uber-strict old people with a firey passion, and hoped everyday that they would just _die_. But, of course, they didn't.

Sometimes he felt like the Sand God was keeping them alive just to punish him.

A light knock on the door made him jump.

He cleared his throat, "Come in."

An older woman with short brown hair, glasses and an oddly colored parrot pearched on her shoulder came in.

"The Konoha laisions are here Kazekage-sama." She said in a high, nasel voice that made Gaara fight the urge to cringe.

"How many of them are there? I thought only Shikamaru would be coming this time." Gaara braced himself for her responce.

"No, there's a girl with him. A quiet and kind of weird girl. She's all bundled up in what seems like 30 blankets."

Gaara untensed, "Alright, send them in."

The lady nodded while her parrot squaked loudly.

She left and Gaara slammed his head onto the desk: One of the few pains that he could enjoy.

"Oi, Gaara-sama, just because Shukaku's gone doesn't mean you can go masochistic on us. Mendokuse." Shikamaru teased as he walked in, the strange girl behind smirked at his soon to be brother-in-law, "Hello to you too Shikamaru-kun." He nodded to the girl, "Who's this?"

The girl struggled to take off the scarf that covered her mouth.

Shikamaru sighed, "Annipe, I told you, you don't need all of those jackets. It's not even that cold."

"So you say..." Gaara muttered.

Shika arched an eyebrow, "What was that?"

"Nothing!" Gaara replied quickly.

The girl named Annipe finaly managed to get the 100 pounds of jackets off, revealing a 5'6" girl with dull gray eyes and contrasting electric blue hair.

"God I'm sweating like a pig..." She panted, waving herself off with a calloused hand.

Gaara chuckled, "Pleased to make your aquaintence Annipe."

The girl eyed Gaara, "Who're you again??"

Shikamaru smacked her over the head, "You are not serious! I swear Gaara-sama, we went over everybody in your service, and she supposedly memorized them, from Ebisu-jii-sama to Temari, but I guess her FAKE short term memory got the better of her."

"Say what?" Annipe replied, playing with a piece of lint on the floor.

Gaara stood up and waved it off, "Don't worry about it Shikamaru. he kneeled beside the girl, "I'm Gaara. The Kazekage of Sunagakure."

Annipe scoffed, "So? I'm the Chuunin Teacher of the KHS, Konoha Humane Society. Have you fed your Oompa Loompa today?"

Gaara arched an eyebrow, "My what?"

Annipe sighed, "Your inner Oompa Loompa. Have you fed it today?"

"Eto.. No...?"

"HAH! THAT'S WHY YOU HAVEN'T SMILED!!"

Gaara fell back and sweatdropped.

Was this girl on crack or something?!

"Your inner Oompa Loompa is what keeps us all young and fresh!" Annipe said dreamily, "You have to feed him or her with love and hugs everyday... Or else you'll become a bitter person with gray hair at age 25."

Shikamaru sighed and muttered something like 'Not this crapola again...'

"DO YOU WANT TO BE A BITTER YOUNG-OLD MAN GAARA?!"

"N-No!"

"THEN COME! AND WE SHALL FEED YOUR INNER OOMPA LOOMPA TOGETHER!!"

"But-"

Annipe grabbed Gaara by the arm and dragged him out, talking about how she feeds her Oompa Loompa chocolate covered bussel sprouts every other day.

Shikamaru sighed, flumping into the poofyness that was Gaara's chair. He 'Hmmm'ed, and snuggled deeper into the chair, tapping on the desk with his stubbled fingernails.A pen found it's way into his hand, and he began to doodle on something that said "Orochimaru Eradication Plan/Donut Girl Scout Play".Shikamaru snickered, "Kazekage for a day...Cool."

"... And Sakura's Oompa Loompa likes straight bean paste from the jar. It's kinda nasty, but to each her own, right?" Annipe drabbled, as Gaara reluctantly followed.

He found himself wishing that the nasal voiced lady would come back and drown out Annipe's talk of 'Oompa Loompas', whatever the hell those were.

"... So, what do you like to do?" She finally finished, stopping in front of the door to the meeting room.

"Huh...? Me? Oh, I like to... Sleep." Gaara imagined himself on a downy soft comforter and the smell of sweet pastries filling the air as he drifted off to slee-

"WOW! YOU'RE BORING!!" Annipe cried, grinning like an idiot.

Gaara's eye twitched, "Is that a crime?"

"It is when you're stuck with me!! Lets go play in the rain!"

"No."

"Why noooo~ooot?!?"

Gaara massaged his temples, "Aren't you the one who came in with a pile of blankets wrapped around her fat head??"

"Baka! I wore them because I thought it would be hot! Everyone knows to where layers in heat!"

Gaara truely didn't know how to respond to that. "Now come on! It's starting to stop!" Annipe whined, opening a nearby window and leaping out.

Gaara stared out the window and sighed, jumping out after the insane girl. "WEEE! COME ON KAZEKAGE NO BAKA!! JOIN ME IN THE FUNNESS!" Annipe shrieked, spinning around on one of those spinny things in the park.

Gaara walked over to her and watched as she spun around...

And around...

And around...

And arou-

*THWUMP* *SPLAT*

"Are you just going to stand there or actually have some fun for once?!?" Annipe had leapt off of the spinny thing and onto Gaara and...

Right into the mud.

Gaara groaned, feeling things moving around in the mud under his back.

"Well?!?" Annipe sook him, "Come on Gaara!!!"

"Fine..." He gave in, and when she got off, he peeled himself off of the ground, "But I get to lay down."

"If you wanna barf up your breakfast, go ahead." She teased, and got back onto the spinny thing.

Gaara layed belly down on the thing, feeling the rain begin to wash off the dirt-

"HANG ON!!" Annipe spun the spinny thingy around, FAST.

Gaara gripped tightly onto the bars.

He was going to vomit.

"I told you!!" Annipe yelled over the rushing wind and rain at seeing the green tint on the Kazekage's cheeks.

"Stop the world, I wanna get off!"

Annipe dug her heel into the mud, immedeately stopping the ride as Gaara staggered off and took deep breaths.

"Fun, right?"

*GLARE*

"I'll take that as a yes!" She grinned, "Now we can go get something to eat!"

"PLEASE tell me it's not chocolate covered brussel sprouts..." Gaara moaned.

"Mmm... Nah. I already fed my Oompa Loompa today. Let's go get some Onigiri!"

Gaara was almost surprised that she would think of something so normal...

"With garlic ramen on top!"

_...'Didn't think so...'_

As Annipe stuffed her face, Gaara daydreamed about nothing what-so-ever. He blinked away a drop of rain that caught his eyelash, and it slid down his cheek. He non-chalauntly wiped it off, but Annipe had seen it.

"Hey, Gaara, are you okay?" She asked softly through a chunk of rice.

"What...?" Gaara replied," Uh, yeah, I'm fine."

Annipe smiled, "That's good." And she returned to stuffing massive amounts of food into her black hole of a mouth.

Gaara found himself blushing and turning away.

Annipe had a really pretty smile...

An awekward silence developed between them, and as Annipe slowed her eating, Gaara glanced at her from the corner of his eye. Her eyes closed and an actual tear slipped from her eye.

"Hey Gaara..." She murmured, very un-Annipe-likely.

"Nani?"

"... Would it be alright if I stayed here, in Sunagakure with you...?"

"Um, sure. Why?"

"Family problems. My mom and sister are going on drinking binges everyday, and I kinda don't want to end up like them, so..."

Gaara nodded, "You can stay. We have an extra bedroom at my house. You just have to be careful, Kankuro sometimes flings his dirty boxers into randoms corners of the house when he's pissed... Which is, almost all the time."

Annipe laughed, "Thanks..." She began to devour her food at normal speed now, and shoved a garlic smothered onigiri ball into Gaara's face, "Food for the Kazekage?"

"Kazekage only eats coffee grounds now-a-days..."

As the two walked home, Annipe yawned and wiped a tired tear from her eye.

"Why aren't you bouncing? Or yelling something random? ...What did you do with Annipe?!" Gaara cried.

Annipe frowned tiredly and slapped a hand over his mouth, "Shut up." *yawn* "Whenever I'm starving I'm super-ultra-mega hyper, but when I'm full, I get tired..."

Gaara smirked under her hand, typical that her body would be as weird as her personality. He took her hand from his mouth and said, "I can believe that. I'm kinda tired too..."

"Carry meeee~eee..." Annipe yawned, slinging her arms around Gaara's neck and snoring loudly.

Gaara sighed and smirk/smiled, "If you insist."

He swept her off of her feet and into his arms. She snored louder, mockingly drooling onto his shirt.

"Ew, stop." He gagged.

"Nyuu..." She laughed lightly, and then really fell asleep.

Gaara stared at her for a second, and then smiled warmly, walking back to the... office...

"OH CRAP!!"

Shikamaru shuffled through the papers, muttering profanity as he ripped something that looked important.

"Mental note: tape that later..." He said to himself, taking a swig of black coffee.

The door opened-

No, wait, it was actually _broken down_.

My mistake.

Gaara stood in the doorway, wet and dripping with a sleeping and equally soaked Annipe in his arms.

"Where have you been?" Shikamaru asked, looking over the brim of his (Gaara's) reading glasses.

"NO TIME. MUST WORK." Gaara scrambled back to his chair, just to realize that it was taken by another butt.

One that belonged specifically to the one named Shikamaru.

"...What are you doing in my chair?" Gaara asked suspicioulsy as Annipe shifted in his arms.

"Being Kazekage." Shika replied simply," Now shoo. I have work to do."

"...Works for me."

Annipe yawned, opening her eyes and blinking a couple of times before screaming, "OVEN COLORED TOAST!" And grinning.

"Good morning to you too."

Annipe looked up and blushed profusely when she saw a shirtless Gaara sitting cross -well, half crossed- legged beside her on the bed.

"Oh god, please tell me we did something last night and I'm not dreaming!" Annipe blabbed.

Gaara smirked, "Nah, we didn't do anything. You just kicked me multiple times."

"Can we do something??"

"What do you mean by-"

She kissed him.

Gaara went wide eyed.

She broke away, "Man, you _suck_ at kissing."

He went slack jawed.

She got up and went to the door, "Tell me when you found your voice so that we can try again. I'm going down to breakfast. SHIKA!! I WANT PANCAKES AND BLUEBERRIES WITH CHOCOLATE COVERED BRUSSEL SPROUTS ON THE SIDE FOR MELARIA!"

"WHOSE MELARIA?!" Shikamaru yelled back, still doing paperwork, this time in the dining room while Temari and Kankuro debated on which was better: kunais or shuriken.

"MY INNER OOMPA LOOMPA!" She grinned, and walked downstairs.

Gaara flumped onto the back and began to breath again.

He grinned," Oh... My god. I THINK I FOUND MY INNER OOMPA LOOMPA!!"

"YAY!" Annipe popped back into the room, "NAME HIM!"

"I already have." He walked up to her," His name is.....Mike."

"Well THATS bori-"

He pressed his lips to hers.

She smiled and kissed back.

_Happy birthday Kazekage no baka..._


End file.
